New

I've been thinking a good amount lately, with the New Year, about myself and the changes I need to make. I'm not one to make New Year's resolutions- those never really get fulfilled- but I do like the concept of committing to a change- to growth, most of all.

You see, I look at the person I was exactly one year ago, and compare him to the person I am today... and I'm surprised. Since January of 2009, my life has changed so much. There has been so much redemption, so much restoration. My relationships, my home life, and I myself have changed so much- and all, or most, for the better. So, of course, I look at 2010 and I get excited. It has so much potential.

One thing I've been learning, however, is that I have to be intentional about what's going to happen. I can't sit around expecting God to change me while I myself don't seek it or work at it. I can't expect to be here, in a year, writing about what an AWESOME year it was, if I'm not willing to work for it. I'm sure I'd find fun, and even life-changing events, without working too hard. But I don't want to end 2010 merely saying it was a good year. I've decided that one year from today I want to say that I got as much out of 2010 as I could have. That not one moment was wasted.

Basically, my decision is this: that, at the end of 2010, I will have grown so much that I'll be new- and still seeking "newness". And it can happen.

I was praying today, and I was thanking God for how much He's done for me, and I started thinking about the day I was born again. Since then, I have grown more than I thought possible. And to think that one day started it all! As I kept praying and thanking God for the growth, I was reminded of the verse we read at our New Year's service and stuck with me:

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the desert

and streams in the wasteland.

Isaiah 43:19 (NIV)

It hit me in the face... God has something new. Yeah it's good to be thankful for the things he's already done, but I can't think that it's done- that HE'S done. He has more.... NEW THINGS. Basically -like He did 3 years ago- God has things for me that I can't even expect. He's making my way, he's preparing streams of provision and blessing for me. And He's going to change me in ways beyond my wildest dreams.

It's very appropriate that as I've been considering these things, I've been reading Crazy Love By Francis Chan [go buy it- you won't be disappointed]. I'm really being challenged by some of the things that Francis Chan writes... In fact, I'm being flat-out convicted.

I've had to ponder thoughts such as "Do I love God or do I love the stuff he gives me, the things he does for me?"... "Am I living in a way that shows someone madly in love with God?"... "For that matter, AM I madly in love with God?"

Along those lines, I'm also facing up to some insecurities I've had. For the first time in my life, I've realized something.... How can I live fully, unashamed of my God, if I'm so insecure and ashamed of myself?

SO my goal is that in January 2011 I will look at 2010 and see:

-A year where I learned what it really means to be loved by God, and to love Him back.

-A year where I overcame my insecurities so that I can FULLY use the gifts and personality God has given me to glorify His name. FEARS WILL NOT HAVE KEPT ME FROM BLESSING OR MINISTERING TO ANYONE.

-A year, for tradition's sake, where I lost 20 pounds.

My commitment for 2010 is that:

-I will talk to God HONESTLY every day as if he was my best friend. I'll include him in my decision making, and ask him to help me to fall in love with Him.

-If I refuse to do something only because I'm afraid of what people will think of me, or that they won't like me, I will GET OVER MYSELF and do it.

-I will not drink regular soda. [Diet may taste like death, but mountain dew is TURNING me into a mountain.] Oh, and I'll exercise once in a while. I guess. Ick.

This blog is a way to keep track of some of my growth, and to share some of my thoughts and convictions. Hopefully you can benefit from it, and grow in ways of your own.

~Art