Lukewarm

To start with, I was not planning on writing today. In fact, my goal was once a week and I was trying to KEEP from writing too much in the beginning- I don't want to start with a bang and then just die off. However, I had to write this today. Because, not only do I NEED to share this, but I need to remind MYSELF. Every day.

Basically, I'm halfway through Crazy Love by Francis Chan, and I feel extremely convicted. The truth is I'm selfish. I'm lukewarm. I'm not "all-or-nothing"; or, for that matter, I might be "nothing". It's hard to swallow, but this is how it is. By the way, most of what I say in this post will be hard to swallow. Tough noogies.

Chapter 4 of Crazy Love talks about lukewarm people. People who are neither hot nor cold for God. People who, according to the bible, God will spit out. There's PAGES of explanations of lukewarm people, but I'll just post some of the ones that hit home with me and then comment on each one. Again, this might make you uncomfortable. And again, tough noogies.

"LUKEWARM PEOPLE give money to charity and to the church... as long as it doesn't impinge on their standard of living. If they have a little extra and it is easy and safe to give, they do so. After all, God loves a cheerful giver, right?"

I don't even know where to begin... Think of the poor widow who gave "two very small copper coins" to the temple treasury, while the rich put their gifts in as well. Jesus said the widow gave "more than all the others" because she gave all she had while they just gave from their WEALTH. Now, often churches use this verse to talk about tithing and how we should be cheerful givers, etc. BUT THIS IS MUCH MORE SERIOUS THAN THAT! We're not talking about a tithe of 10%- WE'RE TALKING ABOUT EVERYTHING. This woman, who did not even KNOW Christ, was willing to give all her finances to God. My thought is this- so often I offer myself to God, as I did today during worship songs at youth group. I said God, take all of me. BUT WHAT ABOUT MY FINANCES? Can I offer all of those to him?

Then I come with the excuses that i've been taught [and, to tell the truth, these excuses are very thick in the lives of immigrants]. "I don't have a lot... my family is not rich... I can barely afford college... my parents came to america to be able to make a better living and a better life... I have to save up for the things I need." And yet i make ALL these excuses while living in a house with four televisions, 2 laptops, a Wii, a playstation, numerous games for those systems, and three cell phones. How is THIS the life that looks "after orphans and widows in distress"? And the sick thing is, I'll go to walmart and see an add for a new Wii game, and i'll want it. I'll want to give fifty dollars to my God of entertainment, while saying I'm not wealthy enough to sponsor a child to attend the Christian summer camp Pastor Danny Iverson has every year.

"LUKEWARM PEOPLE don't really want to be saved from their sin; they want only to be saved from the penalty of their sin. They don't genuinely hate sin and aren't truly sorry for it; they're merely sorry because God is going to punish them. Lukewarm people don't really believe that this new life Jesus offers is better than the old sinful one."

I don't even need to expand on this one much at all. I need to hate sin and love the life Jesus has for me. I need to grab hold of the fact that pleasure and riches and entertainment are NOT better than the purity and "life to the full" that Jesus has for me.

"LUKEWARM PEOPLE are moved by people who do radical things for Christ, yet they do not act. They assume such action is for "extreme" Christians, not average ones. Lukewarm people call "radical" what Jesus expected of His follows."

Are you ready for this one? "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. DO WHAT IT SAYS." James 1:22. I've read this verse at least ten times before. Only when I really pondered on it yesterday did I realize... I deceive myself! You see, the word is filled with crazy, RADICAL expectations of people. Open up the gospels and see! The gospels ALONE call me to standards that frighten me so much I want to pee my pants- now when you pull in the whole New Testament, that's a LOT that God calls us to. And Here I am twiddling my thumbs and making dumb excuses.

"LUKEWARM PEOPLE rarely share their faith with their neighbors, coworkers, or friends. They do not want to be rejected, nor do they want to make people uncomfortable by talking about private issues like religion."

Yikes. I'm uncomfortable already. Alright, obviously we're not supposed to hit everyone we meet in the face with a bible. We're not supposed to shove Jesus down their throats. But I gotta say, I have some close friends who I've known for years and I've never even mentioned Jesus to them. They know I'm a christian and I go to church and I wanna be a pastor, and I know they don't agree with me, and we leave it at that. I wonder if I'm being content with the thought that I'm "showing Jesus through my actions" while at the same time giving up a bunch of opportunities to just flat out tell them about HIM.

"LUKEWARM PEOPLE love Jesus, and He is, indeed, a part of their lives. But only a part. They give him a section of their time, their money, and their thoughts, but He isn't allowed to control their lives."

I am to love God with ALL my heart, ALL my mind, ALL my soul, and ALL my strength. Basically, God wants ALL of me. COULD THAT BE ANY CLEARER? And yet I "spend time with God" in the morning by reading my bible, but don't consider the fact that HE DESIRES TO SPEND THE WHOLE DAY WITH ME. Maybe God is sick of me just spending time with him when I'm reading my bible. Maybe his desire is to be with me as I type this blog- and then after, as I play "Shining Force" on my PS2, and then after as I watch The Office. Jesus DIED for me, perhaps, so he could LIVE with me. Not just have seconds of my day- LIVE with me.

"LUKEWARM PEOPLE love others but do not seek to love others as much as they love themselves. Their love of others is typically focused on those who love them in return, like family, friends, and other people they know and connect with. There is little love left over for those who cannot love them back, much less for those who intentionally slight them, whose kids are better athletes than theirs, or with whom conversations are awkward of uncomfortable. Their love is highly conditional and very selective, and generally comes with strings attached."

I can name, right now, three different people who went through SO MUCH with me- times of joy or times of despair- and we no longer speak. We had a falling out, or perhaps they betrayed me somehow or just decided I wasn't worth talking to anymore. And so it became that my love for these people became an occasional, halfhearted text out of obligation or a "like" button click on their facebook status- rather than legitimately caring about how they are. Where is my love? Am I too busy loving the friends who love me back to the love the friends that STAB my back?

And, finally: "LUKEWARM PEOPLE do not live by faith; their lives are structured so they never have to. They don't have to trust God if something unexpected happens- they have their saving account. They don't need God to help them- they have their retirement plan in place. They don't genuinely seek out what life God would have them live- they have life figured and mapped out. They don't depend on God on a daily basis- their refrigerators are full and, for the most part, they are in good health. The truth is, their lives wouldn't look much different if they suddenly stopped believing in God."

There's nothing wrong with some financial security, though, right? It's ok to have a savings, and to be wise and prepared. Well, yeah, of course! But then again, look at this verse, and prayer, and consider what it really means.

"The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, 'What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.' Then he said, 'This is what I'll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my good. And I'll say to myself, 'You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink, and be merry.' But God said to him, 'You fool! this very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?' This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God." Luke 12:16-21

Suddenly, financial security doesn't seem as important as other things.

There's more. A whole lot more. I think I typed maybe half of the characterizations that Francis Chan gives to lukewarm people in chapter four. Seriously, read the book- you won't be disappointed.

He goes on in chapter 5 to talk about how devoted we are to God- and he goes so far as to say that, because the bible says lukewarm people will be spit out of God's mouth, those people aren't saved at all. Of course, we all mess up on these once in a while... but he makes a good point. If this is the constant state of my life, and I am "neither hot nor cold", God says He'll spit me out. Not too appealing, if you ask me.

Anyway, Chan points out that the gospels make it very clear. Jesus wants us, all or nothing. It's "Go big or go home." I don't care how you phrase it. HE WANTS EVERYTHING, every single moment, resource, thread, coin, thought, EVERYTHING. I can't say this is easy for me to read. In fact, between chapters 4 and 5, I had to stop and pray numerous times- and a few of those times I got pretty close to tears. But I know I can change. He wants me to. He wants to help me do that. He has "a new thing" for me, just like Isaiah 43:19 says. And I'm starting to think this "new thing" involves me giving up a lot more than I ever thought I would.

First things first. I have more commitments and changes to make, but one thing I'm committing to right now is that I will not buy any new video games until 2011. Don't think this was an easy decision to come to... there's a few games I'm looking forward to- in fact, I was going to reserve my copy this week. But I'm convinced my 50 dollars would do better paying for a child from newark to attend Pastor Danny's summer camp. If you haven't caught on by now, by the way, that's my other decision. I WILL sponsor a kid to go to that camp. That's where all my video game money is go to.

So these are the convictions I've had today... I feel filthy rich. Emphasis on the filthy. It's time for my wealth- in time, money, energy- to be committed to something other than myself.

I'm excited. Let's see how much I've given up in a year. And let's check my temperature, too. I'll tell you one thing. I refuse to be lukewarm.

~Art