Face

I've had an interesting week. A very, very good week, don't get me wrong, but with an interesting revelation. Since last Friday, I got an awesome opportunity to share my story [testimony, past, auto-biography- whatever you wanna call it] with a friend, and I also got to hear what's going on in the lives of some people around me. Basically, there's been a lot of story-telling going on... and all of the stories involved a lot of pain, both past and current.

It's remarkable to think about, but if you stop to really listen to what's going on in people's lives, a great number of them are hurting. Your friends, my friends... frankly, maybe you or me. Our society's fast pace has made it really easy to ask people "how you doin?" without actually caring, or having to listen to, how someone is actually doing.

So the pained people walk around pained, and those who happen to be doing alright never even know about the pain. And it's tearing them up on the inside- they're filled with thoughts like "I don't know what to do... Why does this have to happen to me? Where is God in all of this?" Speaking from experience, the hopelessness can get a little frightening. These are hurting people.

Then you have those who HAVE been hurt. The past pain. This week, as I shared with a friend some of the things I've been through, I realized how much hurt I've really had to overcome. There have been troubles that, even after I went through them, left marks on me that took months to erase. In fact, to be totally honest, I'm still erasing some marks from years ago. And so are most people who've been really hurt.

This is all going on right now.

When I look around my campus I see a lot of normal, happy people. Then I take the time to sit down with one of those people, and hear about how much they're hurting and how confused they are. Or how confused they've been and have finally found the right track after a lot of trouble. It's crazy!

Sometimes when I sit down to talk to someone, I find that I'm the first or only person to hear about what's going on in their lives. What's going on, that people feel like they need to hide their pain? Why are we content to have a generation of hurt, broken people as long as it's covered by a mask of normalcy? When is enough going to be enough, and we're going to start to be real?

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

James 5:16

I don't know what that verse says to you, but to me it SCREAMS the need for "real-ness" and de-masking in our lives. I mean, think about it. The verse says "confess your sins to EACH OTHER and pray for EACH OTHER so that you may be HEALED." How is it, then, that Christians tell themselves, and each other, that they just need to keep their problems between them and God?

God can heal you on His own. In fact, He's the only source of real healing. But for some reason he chooses to use the act of people being REAL with each other to bring that healing.

This is a conviction I've had for quite some time, but thought I'd share today. This week, I really saw how many people are hurting, or have been hurt. Most of all, though... I saw that few people KNEW that others were hurting. It's all a secret.

Lift up your hand. Curl it around the edge. Now peel the mask off your face. Let's see some real people, and receive real healing.

With love,

Art

Sing

I've noticed something. The church needs to stop singing. Or at least, we need to think before we do.

What I see is that too many times our words are hollow. They're meaningless. We care more about the fact that the current social norm is that we have to sing, then we do about the actual words coming out of our mouths.

I imagine how God feels, as we approach him and say we want to sing to Him, that we want these words to go to Him... and yet most of us are thinking about other things.

Let's face it. Singing worship songs has become a religion- the same kind of meaningless act Jesus came to end! I mean, didn't he rebuke the pharisees more than anyone? And what they did was ACTION without HEART.

I'm tired of seeing my brothers and sisters singing with a lack of heart and a lack of care for what they're saying! I'M sick of going to church and saying words I don't CARE for. I need to KNOW what I mean.

How will I sing to God "There is NO ONE like you!" If at the same time I'm living as if people are more important than God? How can I say to him "I am secure, I'm confident that I am loved, I know who I am!" If I don't live my life confident in the love of Christ, fearful of what people will think of me, insecure of who I am?

We need to know the words we're saying. And we need to mean them. Otherwise... what's the point?

With Love,

Art

Worry

It's funny how you can read something once, and not even blink- but when you read it again two weeks later, it hits hard. I was just re-reading some early chapters of Crazy Love in preparation for a message I'm giving on Friday, and this paragraph jumped out at me:

"I used to believe that in this world there are two kinds of people: natural worriers and naturally joyful people. I couldn't help it that I was the worrying kind. I'm a problem solver, so I have to focus on things that need fixing. God can see that my intensity and anxiety are ministry related. I worry because I take His work seriously.

Right?

But then there's that perplexing command: 'Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!' (Phil. 4:4)."

[Francis Chan, Crazy Love, Pg 41.]

The reason this paragraph connected with me is that just this week I was using the same excuses as Francis Chan uses. When two individuals, on two separate occasions, mentioned my worries about ministry and the things I'm involved in, I responded with excuses like: "I'm very passionate about this ministry... I care a lot about it... I love the people in it..." Don't get me wrong- I AM passionate... I DO care a lot... I DO love the people... And to be honest, at times I think others aren't worried enough!

But... does all that give me a right to WORRY?

Chan goes on to point out how, when we worry- even over GOOD causes- we say that our care about a ministry is more important than God's command to rejoice. And then there's the continuation of that command- to "Not be anxious about anything." (Phil. 4:6).

One thing I'm noticing is how easily we make exemptions when God makes rules with words like "all" or "anything." He wants ALL of me... except this relationship. I can't be anxious about ANYTHING except my financial burdens.

We don't ever say those things OUT LOUD, but we certainly live like that.

The truth is... I love my church and its ministries. There's something about our youth group that gets me SO excited for God and his works. I am more passionate about that ministry and those people than any other ministry or church or group or work that I have seen. So I WANT to worry about it all. When the church seems a little empty on a particular Sunday, I worry. When my youth group is having problems, I worry. And in case you don't realize, worrying is the same as being "anxious."

What I realize is that my passion and love for these ministries is taking place OVER God because my worries- It's causing me to disobey the commands to "rejoice always" and the command to "not be anxious about anything." And not only that, but my worry shows how little I trust God. Time and time again He has provided for me, opened doors, given me what I needed. I've seen him change lives in ways most people would NEVER believe. And yet... I can't rejoice when something goes wrong, because I believe I have to work to change it- I don't trust that God, out of love and care for his children, will provide the change and healing.

I'm going to choose to trust. When I start worrying about my church, my youth group, or any ministry... I'll turn it back over to God. I will learn to rejoice in the fact that I believe HE will take care of the problem. That HE will heal. HE will bring life change.

And He will do it. He is the redeemer.

With love,

Art

Invest

The other day I got a chance to catch up with one of my good friends, Ryan. I met Ryan three years ago at Word Of Life bible camp. God used him to really speak some truth and encouragement in my life in a time when I really needed change. And since that week, though I haven't seen Ryan in almost three years, we keep in touch. Once in a while one of us will call the other and we'll share what's going on. Ryan, to this day, continues to be a source of encouragement, conviction, and love- all based on biblical truth.

As I thanked Ryan for everything he'd been doing for me, he said something that stuck with me. He said, "Hey man, if you had a chance to invest in some stock right before it really soared and made loads of money, you would have." Basically, Ryan INVESTED himself- his time, mostly- in me, because he believed in the things God would do with me. He could see that God was preparing something. I'm sure neither of us could have expected how far God would take me, but I'm also sure Ryan doesn't feel like his time in talking to me and praying for me was wasted.

The reason I bring this up is because I'm currently working through what it means to invest. In Lukewarm, I wrote "It's time for my wealth- in time, money, energy- to be committed to something other than myself." Since writing that a week ago, I've really tried to live it out. You see, as I discussed in Lukewarm, I can no longer make excuses for the fact that I use most of my resources on myself. It's glaringly obvious, and ugly, before me. So I'm fighting it.

Today, I'd like to focus on financial resources- mostly because I'm realizing it's the area I carry the most lies in. You see, we all know we have to do kind things for others. We all know we can't spend all, or even most, of our time serving ourselves. We all know we have to go out and serve. In fact, we sing songs about it all the time. We constantly offer our lives and services to God- "Here I am," we sing, "ALL of me! Take my life, It's ALL for thee."

Over and over, we dedicate ALL of ourselves to God. ALL of our time, ALL of our energy, TEN PERCENT of our money... wait what?

You see, here's what I've come to realize. I give my tithe joyfully- It's the ten percent of what God gave me that he asks for directly, so there, it's His again. But why do we leave it at that? Why do we ignore that Jesus asked the rich young ruler to "sell everything" he had and "give to the poor."

If ten percent is all God asks of us, why did Jesus say that this man had to sell everything to achieve salvation?

Again, I'm repeating some of Lukewarm, but think about it! GOD WANTS IT ALL. Every single penny. Over and over again, he commands people to give up EVERYTHING for Him, right? So WHY do we delude ourselves in thinking that God only asks for 10% to be dedicated to him?

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not telling you that you have to give 100% of your income to the church. Not at all. I understand we have needs that require money. What I AM saying is that, since God demands ALL of us for ALL of Him, all our money should be DEDICATED to Him.

When this simple fact hit me, I was blown away. Because... well, to be honest, as soon as that 10% tithe is out of my hands, the rest of my money gets spent on myself. Notice the use of the word spent - spent on myself.

As I already told you, I committed to not buying video games until 2011. I decided to use the money I would usually be spending on video games to sponsor an inner-city child in Newark to attend a christian day camp Pastor Danny Iverson organizes. But get this- as I shared this decision with some guys from my church- guys who GREW UP in the church, I might add- one of them looked at me and said "you're crazy man. That's stupid." He had no respect for the idea, because he has been taught that the money you make, save 10%, is your own, to use as you please. Listen... NOTHING we have is our own, NONE of it is to be used as we please.

I came to realize in that moment that there was a year in which I spent 200, 300 dollars on video games and entertainment, and yet refused to sponsor a worldvision child because I didn't have the money. And my immediate thought was this- I value my entertainment more than I value a child's life. I would rather buy a Wii than feed a child for a year. How sick and twisted is that? Welcome to the American dream. Welcome, I should say, to the CHRISTIAN American dream.

So I continued contemplating this idea, until yesterday, when I had an epiphany.

You all know I love American Eagle clothing. Well, I love clothes, but especially American Eagle. I have shoes, hats, necklaces, church shirts, t-shirts, jeans, pajamas, slippers, jackets, and even underwear from American Eagle. So, one of the decisions I made this past week is that from now on I will buy clothes only when i sincerely NEED it- not just a new t-shirt because it's on sale and it looks nice. So I unsubscribed myself from American Eagle's email list, and when I was tempted to go on ae.com to check out the sales, I ignored this desire.

However, after The Great Escape, my furry hat is looking a little beat up. So, I figured, I'll go see if a new one is on sale at AE. Well, the furry hat was not... but my gray beanie was- SEVEN DOLLARS for a new black one. THAT'S THREE DOLLARS LESS THAN I PAID! SEVEN DOLLARS IS NOTHING! And the black one was so much nicer... So, I decided, when I next go to the mall, I'll buy it.

But this didn't quite sit well with me. I sat there, looking at my grey beanie -which is only two weeks old- and realized, super cheap or not, I don't need this new beanie.

What, I asked myself, would I be investing seven dollars in if I bought this hat? Fashion... style... my ego... Basically, nothing of KINGDOM VALUE. It wouldn't be an investment at all- It'd be money SPENT.

What could I do with that seven dollars that would be of KINGDOM VALUE?

>I could buy wings for a friend at Buffalo Wild Wings. A meal provides a chance for relationship building, and relationship building has KINGDOM VALUE.

>I could buy a hot meal at a bakery in Newark for a homeless person. Serving the least of these? KINGDOM VALUE!

>I could send it to Invisible Children, who would put that tiny contribution to huge goals. Saving child soldiers in Africa definitely has KINGDOM VALUE.

Three options. Three ways that, rather than SPEND my money on myself, I could INVEST it on God and his Kingdom. And that's a stock that's ready to SOAR.

So here's another commitment. This is the hardest one yet, and I might slip up a few times. But here it goes...

In 2010, I will seek to INVEST every last penny of my finances into things of KINGDOM VALUE.

KINGDOM VALUE, as I see it includes:

>Building relationships. [IE, paying for breakfast with a friend so we can have a nice conversation. Also, traveling to churches, events, etc.]

>Serving "the least of these"- buying any sort of resource for someone in need.

>Supporting ministries.

>Things that promote spiritual growth, such as reading material.

This will include all needs, such as food, clothing, and hygienics. HOWEVER, I will seek to cut costs on my needs. Which MEANS... I will buy no clothes that are not on sale, and then only if I sincerely need the article. I will not go out to eat unless is serves to build up relationships, and even then I will choose cheaper options. [IE: If I go to Applebees, I will order water, which is free, and not a soda, which costs $3. I will not buy dessert.]

So that's the practical aspect. Basically, whenever even a dime of my money will be spent, I will ask: Will this be an investment in the Kingdom of God? Could it be invested better elsewhere?

I know, it's intense. I'm not saying it's going to be easy. In fact, I'm already uncomfortable with some of the things I'm giving up. But... I want every single fiber of my being to be INVESTED in HIM, and not SPENT on ME.

With Love,

Art

Image

I was away this weekend at The Great Escape. It's a retreat our youth group goes to every January, and every year it's a great opportunity to catch up with some old friends, serve, and refocus. I was REALLY excited this year because I was going to be the MC/Host.

Let me tell ya, it was everything I expected and so much more [which is usually how God works. Everything you expected, and so much more.] I connected with old friends in a new way, made some new friends, had a BLAST hosting, and got to hear some great messages about Image.

As I heard Pastor Mark speak about how frequently we base our image of ourselves on material possessions, relationships, and other things, rather than God, I started reflecting on myself and my life- and if there was any evidence that I was doing this. Perhaps to my surprise, even my clothes screamed that I did this.

You see, most of you know that I like to look good. I like my clothes from certain places, and I spend a nice amount of time picking out my clothes. Even packing for The Great Escape took me like two hours, and having to change my shirt at least 10 times to see which ones I wanted to wear.

Now, it's fine to want to look nice, and in fact I still want to dress nicely. But I came to realize something- I spent so much time preparing my clothes JUST BECAUSE I knew I was going to be the MC. I KNEW I was going to be in front of 150 people. so I wanted to look particularly cool.

Here's another shocking realization I'm just coming to have. I spent so much time preparing my clothes so I'd look good, and not nearly enough time PRAYING for the encounters I had with people- for God to prepare me to USE my position, USE my role and image as MC to get to know and inspire kids. Now, in His grace, he certainly provided. I had the most AMAZING weekend, and got to encourage and speak to people in a way I haven't in a WHILE. But if the retreat was that good... HOW GOOD COULD IT HAVE BEEN if instead of just worrying about my clothes, I spent an hour or two praying for God to open hearts and use me? For Him to provide conversations where I could impact and encourage people.

So, though I continue to present myself nicely, I refuse to prepare myself materially before I prepare myself spiritually. From now on.

So that's one conviction. But there's more. And the rest is actually something I did right.

In my first post, I spoke about my three commitments for 2010. One of those commitments is that I would live boldly, unashamedly, for God. Which would take getting over my insecurities, more than anything. You see, maybe you've noticed and maybe you haven't, but I'm often quite convinced, and concerned, that someone won't like me- that we won't click or get along, or whatever. And it's not that I particularly CARE that people like me or not, because I got used to not being liked, but... it's that one moment of rejection, maybe. I don't know- there's just something about new people that INTIMIDATES me. It's like... hopelessness. I think we can't possibly hit it off, and I dread the moment of awkwardness and dejection when we don't, so I don't bother trying.

So, what I'm seeing is that... for the most part, my insecurity does not necessarily lie in me doing things with a lack of confidence [because I'm told that I portray confidence in what I do], but more so in that it KEEPS me from DOING to begin with.

The reason I bring this up is that last night I realized, I didn't feel this way at Great Escape at all. Almost without meaning to, I WAS bold and unashamed this weekend. In fact, I thought SO little of how people would view me that I didn't notice till last night how it BARELY touched my mind. And I was SO glad!

The results were tremendous. I established connections with people easier than I have in AGES. In social situations where I usually would've held back, and therefore not met people, I THRIVED. And I say this not for my own benefit, or to talk about how great it was for me, but I sincerely believe that I was able to connect with people in a way that was a mutual blessing.

The real proof of this for me was on Sunday morning. As I said goodbye to a friend I'd known the year before, she said to me "Art you're so different..." when I asked how, she said "I don't know... it's like, I heard some middle schoolers talking about how you're such a good role model especially because you don't care what people think."

I was amazed. I mean I IMMEDIATELY thanked God. My thought was... 'when did I become someone who people can say that about? When did I become someone kids can look up to? When did I become someone who doesn't care what people THINK?!' As I looked over some of the things people said to and about me, and as I considered how my relationships had gone that weekend, I realized how GREAT are the ways that God can use me when I stop letting my fears and insecurities hold me back!

When I stop worrying about whether or not the person will like me, and just throw myself into the things God has put before me, I can really be used to change lives.

HOW MANY OPPORTUNITIES HAVE I WASTED?! How many people have I not reached out to, when maybe they NEEDED it, because I thought they wouldn't like me, or they'd think it's weird that I cared so much?

And you know what? Since when does God's love NOT look weird? I mean it's WEIRD for someone with ALL THE POWER to give it up and SUFFER for someone who doesn't deserve it, isn't it?

So why is OUR love supposed to be any less radical? How could it possibly be any less WEIRD?

Let's stop with these EXCUSES that caring about people is gonna look odd, uncommon, etc. If loving people takes COURAGE, and a lack of concern for myself and my IMAGE, then that's a price I'll pay...

On the same thought, what else has my concern for my image kept me from doing? Again, I'm convicted of my spending... But I have TONS to say about that, so I'll save that for later this week.

With love,

~Art

Lukewarm

To start with, I was not planning on writing today. In fact, my goal was once a week and I was trying to KEEP from writing too much in the beginning- I don't want to start with a bang and then just die off. However, I had to write this today. Because, not only do I NEED to share this, but I need to remind MYSELF. Every day.

Basically, I'm halfway through Crazy Love by Francis Chan, and I feel extremely convicted. The truth is I'm selfish. I'm lukewarm. I'm not "all-or-nothing"; or, for that matter, I might be "nothing". It's hard to swallow, but this is how it is. By the way, most of what I say in this post will be hard to swallow. Tough noogies.

Chapter 4 of Crazy Love talks about lukewarm people. People who are neither hot nor cold for God. People who, according to the bible, God will spit out. There's PAGES of explanations of lukewarm people, but I'll just post some of the ones that hit home with me and then comment on each one. Again, this might make you uncomfortable. And again, tough noogies.

"LUKEWARM PEOPLE give money to charity and to the church... as long as it doesn't impinge on their standard of living. If they have a little extra and it is easy and safe to give, they do so. After all, God loves a cheerful giver, right?"

I don't even know where to begin... Think of the poor widow who gave "two very small copper coins" to the temple treasury, while the rich put their gifts in as well. Jesus said the widow gave "more than all the others" because she gave all she had while they just gave from their WEALTH. Now, often churches use this verse to talk about tithing and how we should be cheerful givers, etc. BUT THIS IS MUCH MORE SERIOUS THAN THAT! We're not talking about a tithe of 10%- WE'RE TALKING ABOUT EVERYTHING. This woman, who did not even KNOW Christ, was willing to give all her finances to God. My thought is this- so often I offer myself to God, as I did today during worship songs at youth group. I said God, take all of me. BUT WHAT ABOUT MY FINANCES? Can I offer all of those to him?

Then I come with the excuses that i've been taught [and, to tell the truth, these excuses are very thick in the lives of immigrants]. "I don't have a lot... my family is not rich... I can barely afford college... my parents came to america to be able to make a better living and a better life... I have to save up for the things I need." And yet i make ALL these excuses while living in a house with four televisions, 2 laptops, a Wii, a playstation, numerous games for those systems, and three cell phones. How is THIS the life that looks "after orphans and widows in distress"? And the sick thing is, I'll go to walmart and see an add for a new Wii game, and i'll want it. I'll want to give fifty dollars to my God of entertainment, while saying I'm not wealthy enough to sponsor a child to attend the Christian summer camp Pastor Danny Iverson has every year.

"LUKEWARM PEOPLE don't really want to be saved from their sin; they want only to be saved from the penalty of their sin. They don't genuinely hate sin and aren't truly sorry for it; they're merely sorry because God is going to punish them. Lukewarm people don't really believe that this new life Jesus offers is better than the old sinful one."

I don't even need to expand on this one much at all. I need to hate sin and love the life Jesus has for me. I need to grab hold of the fact that pleasure and riches and entertainment are NOT better than the purity and "life to the full" that Jesus has for me.

"LUKEWARM PEOPLE are moved by people who do radical things for Christ, yet they do not act. They assume such action is for "extreme" Christians, not average ones. Lukewarm people call "radical" what Jesus expected of His follows."

Are you ready for this one? "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. DO WHAT IT SAYS." James 1:22. I've read this verse at least ten times before. Only when I really pondered on it yesterday did I realize... I deceive myself! You see, the word is filled with crazy, RADICAL expectations of people. Open up the gospels and see! The gospels ALONE call me to standards that frighten me so much I want to pee my pants- now when you pull in the whole New Testament, that's a LOT that God calls us to. And Here I am twiddling my thumbs and making dumb excuses.

"LUKEWARM PEOPLE rarely share their faith with their neighbors, coworkers, or friends. They do not want to be rejected, nor do they want to make people uncomfortable by talking about private issues like religion."

Yikes. I'm uncomfortable already. Alright, obviously we're not supposed to hit everyone we meet in the face with a bible. We're not supposed to shove Jesus down their throats. But I gotta say, I have some close friends who I've known for years and I've never even mentioned Jesus to them. They know I'm a christian and I go to church and I wanna be a pastor, and I know they don't agree with me, and we leave it at that. I wonder if I'm being content with the thought that I'm "showing Jesus through my actions" while at the same time giving up a bunch of opportunities to just flat out tell them about HIM.

"LUKEWARM PEOPLE love Jesus, and He is, indeed, a part of their lives. But only a part. They give him a section of their time, their money, and their thoughts, but He isn't allowed to control their lives."

I am to love God with ALL my heart, ALL my mind, ALL my soul, and ALL my strength. Basically, God wants ALL of me. COULD THAT BE ANY CLEARER? And yet I "spend time with God" in the morning by reading my bible, but don't consider the fact that HE DESIRES TO SPEND THE WHOLE DAY WITH ME. Maybe God is sick of me just spending time with him when I'm reading my bible. Maybe his desire is to be with me as I type this blog- and then after, as I play "Shining Force" on my PS2, and then after as I watch The Office. Jesus DIED for me, perhaps, so he could LIVE with me. Not just have seconds of my day- LIVE with me.

"LUKEWARM PEOPLE love others but do not seek to love others as much as they love themselves. Their love of others is typically focused on those who love them in return, like family, friends, and other people they know and connect with. There is little love left over for those who cannot love them back, much less for those who intentionally slight them, whose kids are better athletes than theirs, or with whom conversations are awkward of uncomfortable. Their love is highly conditional and very selective, and generally comes with strings attached."

I can name, right now, three different people who went through SO MUCH with me- times of joy or times of despair- and we no longer speak. We had a falling out, or perhaps they betrayed me somehow or just decided I wasn't worth talking to anymore. And so it became that my love for these people became an occasional, halfhearted text out of obligation or a "like" button click on their facebook status- rather than legitimately caring about how they are. Where is my love? Am I too busy loving the friends who love me back to the love the friends that STAB my back?

And, finally: "LUKEWARM PEOPLE do not live by faith; their lives are structured so they never have to. They don't have to trust God if something unexpected happens- they have their saving account. They don't need God to help them- they have their retirement plan in place. They don't genuinely seek out what life God would have them live- they have life figured and mapped out. They don't depend on God on a daily basis- their refrigerators are full and, for the most part, they are in good health. The truth is, their lives wouldn't look much different if they suddenly stopped believing in God."

There's nothing wrong with some financial security, though, right? It's ok to have a savings, and to be wise and prepared. Well, yeah, of course! But then again, look at this verse, and prayer, and consider what it really means.

"The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, 'What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.' Then he said, 'This is what I'll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my good. And I'll say to myself, 'You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink, and be merry.' But God said to him, 'You fool! this very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?' This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God." Luke 12:16-21

Suddenly, financial security doesn't seem as important as other things.

There's more. A whole lot more. I think I typed maybe half of the characterizations that Francis Chan gives to lukewarm people in chapter four. Seriously, read the book- you won't be disappointed.

He goes on in chapter 5 to talk about how devoted we are to God- and he goes so far as to say that, because the bible says lukewarm people will be spit out of God's mouth, those people aren't saved at all. Of course, we all mess up on these once in a while... but he makes a good point. If this is the constant state of my life, and I am "neither hot nor cold", God says He'll spit me out. Not too appealing, if you ask me.

Anyway, Chan points out that the gospels make it very clear. Jesus wants us, all or nothing. It's "Go big or go home." I don't care how you phrase it. HE WANTS EVERYTHING, every single moment, resource, thread, coin, thought, EVERYTHING. I can't say this is easy for me to read. In fact, between chapters 4 and 5, I had to stop and pray numerous times- and a few of those times I got pretty close to tears. But I know I can change. He wants me to. He wants to help me do that. He has "a new thing" for me, just like Isaiah 43:19 says. And I'm starting to think this "new thing" involves me giving up a lot more than I ever thought I would.

First things first. I have more commitments and changes to make, but one thing I'm committing to right now is that I will not buy any new video games until 2011. Don't think this was an easy decision to come to... there's a few games I'm looking forward to- in fact, I was going to reserve my copy this week. But I'm convinced my 50 dollars would do better paying for a child from newark to attend Pastor Danny's summer camp. If you haven't caught on by now, by the way, that's my other decision. I WILL sponsor a kid to go to that camp. That's where all my video game money is go to.

So these are the convictions I've had today... I feel filthy rich. Emphasis on the filthy. It's time for my wealth- in time, money, energy- to be committed to something other than myself.

I'm excited. Let's see how much I've given up in a year. And let's check my temperature, too. I'll tell you one thing. I refuse to be lukewarm.

~Art

New

I've been thinking a good amount lately, with the New Year, about myself and the changes I need to make. I'm not one to make New Year's resolutions- those never really get fulfilled- but I do like the concept of committing to a change- to growth, most of all.

You see, I look at the person I was exactly one year ago, and compare him to the person I am today... and I'm surprised. Since January of 2009, my life has changed so much. There has been so much redemption, so much restoration. My relationships, my home life, and I myself have changed so much- and all, or most, for the better. So, of course, I look at 2010 and I get excited. It has so much potential.

One thing I've been learning, however, is that I have to be intentional about what's going to happen. I can't sit around expecting God to change me while I myself don't seek it or work at it. I can't expect to be here, in a year, writing about what an AWESOME year it was, if I'm not willing to work for it. I'm sure I'd find fun, and even life-changing events, without working too hard. But I don't want to end 2010 merely saying it was a good year. I've decided that one year from today I want to say that I got as much out of 2010 as I could have. That not one moment was wasted.

Basically, my decision is this: that, at the end of 2010, I will have grown so much that I'll be new- and still seeking "newness". And it can happen.

I was praying today, and I was thanking God for how much He's done for me, and I started thinking about the day I was born again. Since then, I have grown more than I thought possible. And to think that one day started it all! As I kept praying and thanking God for the growth, I was reminded of the verse we read at our New Year's service and stuck with me:

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the desert

and streams in the wasteland.

Isaiah 43:19 (NIV)

It hit me in the face... God has something new. Yeah it's good to be thankful for the things he's already done, but I can't think that it's done- that HE'S done. He has more.... NEW THINGS. Basically -like He did 3 years ago- God has things for me that I can't even expect. He's making my way, he's preparing streams of provision and blessing for me. And He's going to change me in ways beyond my wildest dreams.

It's very appropriate that as I've been considering these things, I've been reading Crazy Love By Francis Chan [go buy it- you won't be disappointed]. I'm really being challenged by some of the things that Francis Chan writes... In fact, I'm being flat-out convicted.

I've had to ponder thoughts such as "Do I love God or do I love the stuff he gives me, the things he does for me?"... "Am I living in a way that shows someone madly in love with God?"... "For that matter, AM I madly in love with God?"

Along those lines, I'm also facing up to some insecurities I've had. For the first time in my life, I've realized something.... How can I live fully, unashamed of my God, if I'm so insecure and ashamed of myself?

SO my goal is that in January 2011 I will look at 2010 and see:

-A year where I learned what it really means to be loved by God, and to love Him back.

-A year where I overcame my insecurities so that I can FULLY use the gifts and personality God has given me to glorify His name. FEARS WILL NOT HAVE KEPT ME FROM BLESSING OR MINISTERING TO ANYONE.

-A year, for tradition's sake, where I lost 20 pounds.

My commitment for 2010 is that:

-I will talk to God HONESTLY every day as if he was my best friend. I'll include him in my decision making, and ask him to help me to fall in love with Him.

-If I refuse to do something only because I'm afraid of what people will think of me, or that they won't like me, I will GET OVER MYSELF and do it.

-I will not drink regular soda. [Diet may taste like death, but mountain dew is TURNING me into a mountain.] Oh, and I'll exercise once in a while. I guess. Ick.

This blog is a way to keep track of some of my growth, and to share some of my thoughts and convictions. Hopefully you can benefit from it, and grow in ways of your own.

~Art